My life abroad, one year later!!!

“The Parallel universe is a hypothetical self-contained reality co existing with one’s own. Where the choices you make in this life are played out in alternative realities.”

It’s been a year. I have been living, teaching and traveling abroad in Vietnam for a year. I reflect upon all that has happened in my time abroad, as it was not a smooth transition, and I am astonished. I have created a whole entire new life for myself on the other side of the world. In a culture so different that ‘pork floss cake’ is a thing and boiling hot soup is being slurped down at 7:00 AM, on the street, when its already 90 degrees outside.

I am so involved here with my own daily living routines and friends. One day I found myself eating lunch on the floor, in a circle, with a Vietnamese family whom I work with and I didn’t even think twice about it being aberrant. Living in a compound of Vietnamese families, I am no longer a stranger but part of their community. I have a little six-year-old boy who waits for me to come home from work. Tony comes into my house to hang out with me, watch YouTube videos, and I’m attempting to teach him English. I have been taking Vietnamese language lessons in my neighborhood. Lets just say, I have really stepped up by bargaining skills at the local markets—come shopping with me! This is the phase of living abroad, which I have been calling, adapted.

I recently opened my own business, called ‘Ride With Me.’ Ride with me has been an idea of mine, since the first day I attempted to ride a motorbike in Saigon. Which if you remember from my previous stories, was an utter disaster. Partnered with a Vietnamese family, we’ve started teaching expats how to drive and manage a motorbike in Saigon.  It started as a passion project but it has been fairly successful since only opening two months ago.

On top of all that, I am still teaching full time. This school year has been far more challenging, physically tiring, and mentally draining then any career I could remember. Putting on a high energy level performance everyday, to fifty ESL first graders, is something my energy level, can’t even handle (My children are very lucky, they are so darn cute!) The teacher’s office, where I spend the majority of my life in, is a full-blown sitcom.

With a cross-cultural teaching environment we are uncovering the many differences between the western world and the Vietnamese world.  We overcome “cultural differences” everyday. Like, explaining to our Vietnamese friends that a baby- daddy is NOT a dad who looks young….then, spoken loudly from one side of the office one interjects “She wants the sperm of a Vietnamese man so she can have a hybrid baby” is a typical conversation and dynamic in our workspace. 

Living in Vietnam is just liberating. With no laws abided by or rules set in place, it is the city of freedom!  You can ride your motorbike on the sidewalk if there is too much traffic on the road, and the 7/11 will open your beer for you so you can take it into the bar across the street. I am living a life that was never even imaginable to me.  A life, I never once foreseen, or could paint a picture in my head about. If you were the worlds greatest google-er you still could not picture what living abroad in Vietnam is all about, it’s impossible. Dreaming about what your wedding day will look like, as a young adult is easy, as it’s all over the tabloids and social media. But living abroad in Vietnam, all the little details, side alleyways, street life… I’ll still never truly be able to paint it all out for myself, or anyone else. I’m adapted but I still can’t take all of it in yet.  My life is a movie that has never been played before. It’s a parallel universe that only the people in it, with me, will ever truly know. I don’t know, even the slightest bit, what I want to do next year. What I do know is that this is my now. I am living the best possible, unimaginable life, I could possibly be living.  

Thank you to all who have been NAMaste-ing with me! Cheers to the one year mark!

Living in the now, Solo (not so solo) Traveling

It has been a year since I left for Vietnam last summer. I also finished my first school year teaching abroad. If it looks like I don’t work, I understand. I go away every other weekend to explore as much territory in Asia as I possibly can. I am jumping on airplanes every weekend. Taking on impromptu trips planned on a Wednesday and headed out Friday. If Im not rushing to the airport directly after work, I question what feels wrong. I can pack a bag in less then five minutes and go away with not a single plan except some Instagram pictures I saved.  I just go. It is simple, easy, cheap and exhilarating. The second I hit the tile floor at my departure gate, plug my cell phone in, lay with my head resting on my backpack on the tile floor of the airport, waiting for my plane to arrive... it is ecstasy. I don’t know what it is with me and airports. I love them, I love the physical aspect of flying, and I love the unknown of what is at the other side. For this it is very important to truly live in the now.  Not the past or the future. Right now—that cold ceramic tile at the airport, the Vietnamese children running up to you, the guilty pleasure of eating Burger King after a crazy work week,  Whatever it is, remember be in the now. I will come back to this later.
It has been a while since I've blogged so I'm going to start with what is going on in my life, in this moment. I have two months off to travel. I didn't plan for this trip, I barely thought about it, and to be honest I thought I would be holding hands with the love of my life at the Taj Mahal right now. Let me tell you relationships abroad do not exist, everything is impermanent. You learn how to live in the moment, the right now. You learn self love as sometimes it's all you have, if you’re lucky. So Im on this  no- plan trip to Malaysia and Indonesia right now, solo traveling. I didn't plan on my summer being a solo trip and to be honest it freaked me out a few days leading up to the trip. Questioning things that could go wrong.  Why was I so filled with nerves the night before leaving, my now very comfortable place in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam? You would think I was an expert at this by now. I came out here alone, right.  “This will be good for me, and there is no point to fearing something that hasn't happened yet,” I told myself.

Day one on the express train from the airport into Kuala Lumpur I met a girl from New York. We immediately hit it off. It just so happened that she was going on a dive trip the next day to Sipadan, Malaysia. One of the most famous dive sites in the world. Nestled in between Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippians. Do you want to know what I did? I bought a plane ticket the same day out of Kuala Lumpur to this isolated island three hours east, by flight, of where I was. An island so remote, its size,  comparable to the emoji size island icon.  WOW !! The diving was unreal. The turtles larger then me. I was basically scuba diving Finding Nemo. I spent two days there and did five dives. Each one getting easier and easier. From there,  I decided that I don’t even want to focus on planning anything anymore. The truth is I always end up meeting people that are doing cooler things then me that I couldn't possibly plan and I end up wasting flight tickets. It also keeps me staying in the now. Not the future and not the past. Just the now. The now is amazing! I went for a surf lesson in Uluwata, Bali. A surfers paradise destination. The next thing I know, I am standing next to world famous surfers. Radiating so many high frequencies between myself and the surfers, the next thing I know I'm being invited back to their villa with an infinity pool overlooking the beach, to party with them all night! My life!!!

I read this book recently, called “You are a Badass,” By Jen Shapiro. This book automatically reached me and changed my life. She quotes “We live on a planet that orbits on an axis in the middle of a galaxy. Our most precious resource, water, falls from the sky. And we want more?” This quote subsided with me, made me realize how much I had to smile about, even on the toughest days. We have so many things to be grateful for. You can count ten things every night that you are grateful for. Sounds like a lot, right? But count gravity, as one, and its really that easy.
If you want to know why I am so happy and how I built this life for myself, I will tell you my secret. It's having nothing. Gadgets, clothes, cars, climbing the ladder at your corporate job, it  locks  you down. Once you let go the freedom you receive  is the most liberating feeling. Knowing that I can take any opportunity that jumps out at me, that’s what makes me happy. Having nothing and being in the now. The second secret.. visualize it and take the steps necessary. You can literally have anything you want if you want it bad enough. I wanted to be out here. I drew Southeast Asia on my chalkboard, quit my job, sold everything I owned and worked my ass off to land myself a teaching career overseas. I wanted it, I took action, and I'm out here doing it.

So here I am. Typing this blog in Ubud, Bali Indonesia. On a porch looking out at valleys filled with temples, palm trees, and mountains in the distance. I am listening to the sounds of coy ponds and hymns from the Balinese in prayer. Everywhere I turn I see  Hinduism carvings stitched into every roof, table, window, step and archway. This is my life, my present and my right now. Yesterday, I  climbed a volcano 1,700 meters high at 2AM in the morning to get to see the sunrise above the volcanic peaks.  Today, I spent the day with friends, I made in my homestay. We went trekking in layers of rice terraces, got blessed in baths filled with holy water coming out of spouts, went weasel coffee tasting, and ended the night in an outdoor yoga class.  It is a fairytale that I visualized and made happen for myself. I am, just like you and here I am. You can get what you want, anything you want. But, you need to surrender and truly believe that the world has you. People do it everyday and you can be that person too. Do not fear the unknown, embrace the now and let things go. Make your moves to having that fun filled life that you have always dreamed of. This isn’t a holiday for me anymore, this is my lifestyle, my now.
NAMaste with me in Bali.

                     
                                       

This is not just teaching abroad. This is UN→REAL!

This is not just teaching abroad. This is UNàREAL!

Education is the silver bullet. Education is everything. We don’t need little changes, we need gigantic, monumental changes. Schools should be palaces. Competition for the best teachers should be fierce; they should be making six figures. Schools should be incredibly expensive for government and absolutely free of charge to its citizens, just like national defense. –Sam Seaborn, The West Wing.

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam 2017: Your average day at school:

Hundreds of families on motorbikes speeding in with their children on the back, front, and in between, so not to be late to school. With families of four to five: mom, dad, baby, the children, and sometimes grand mom too. And no, the children aren’t wearing helmets. Let me guess what you’re thinking? A parent’s worst nightmare! But months in, when you begin to get over the motorbike scene, and look deeper, you start to see something totally different and beautiful. You see parents kissing their kids goodbye, wiping their noses, fixing their clothes, and sending their child off with Lion King nurturing love, for a great day of school.

[In a choral toned elongated voice] “STAND UP! Good Morning Ms. Katie, how are you today?” That is the introduction I receive from my students every morning of every class from every student. Some parents moving aside to let me go through in the hallway, like I am some sort of monk or doctor. In passing about fifty children in a row “HELLO TEACHER” I wish I could read it to you in their adorable- Vietnamese accent: “TeachAAHH – TeachAAHH….. HellO TeachAAHH!!”

The bell rings.. “Stand UP! Goodbye Ms. Katie, see you tomorrow” The teacher leaves the room first, and then the students run outside for break time. Over the intercom outside,tThe school song “VAS BE THE BEST” comes on and the little ones run to their spots to sing and dance to their spirited school song. The older children kick soccer balls on the green football field, play racket ball and run around giggling and playing tag. All while the teacher’s break, and the children are watched by school nannies.  Twenty minutes later, the children run back to class, sit down and are ready to STAND UP for the next teacher.

Philadelphia, The United States of America:

Poverty, violence, metal detectors, sex in the auditorium, school police, gangs, fights.  Children going without comfort, love and care. Children being screamed at by their parents on their way to school, and being talked down to. No hug goodbye, backwards shoes, dried up snot on their face, and without a jacket.  The hallways are earsplitting, scary and intimidating to walk through as you may be trampled on, at any second. Personally, I am just going to stop here. I don’t even want to get started on lack of funding or the absence of a forthcoming future for these schools, because it makes me so damn sad.

For the past four months I have been teaching eighty remarkable fourth and fifth graders.  These children are so obedient, innocent and respectful. I can’t even count the number of full-faced smiles they put on my face every single day. They give me so much purpose in life and the amount of respect is just un-real. I literally feel like I have been dropped down into heaven and in some sort of nirvana.

 

I don’t have to work a second or third job with this salary. In fact, I have my laundry serviced, a cleaning lady once a week, two smart meals a day delivered to my house every morning, a place to park my motorbike where they valet it in and out for me everyday (mostly because they know I’m an idiot at parking) and a personal trainer who comes to my home. My rent is $250/month in a charming Vietnamese style expat house with a huge bedroom and bathroom complete with a spiral staircase and a rooftop terrace. I am quickly paying off all of my debt from back in the states. I am making more money here then I was back home and as you can tell my cost of living is significantly lower.

Today was International Women’s day. The international part, throwing me off a bit because I definitely do not recall this holiday existing back in the states. My students came running in with cards, gifts and warm wishes of Happy Women’s day. I couldn’t even fit all of these gifts home with me on my motorbike. Like, I cant even, with how good these Vietnamese children are. All, Streaming down from centuries of: family bonds, values and doing everything out of the welfare for your family.  The amount of respect from these children, parents, and other teachers is just MAD!

I am getting to experience two worlds in one lifetime. Nothing is the same as my first life in the states. Being uncomfortable is my comfortable. Silence screams louder to me then noise. Motorbikes, sirens, dirty feet, and children shouting “TEACHA- TEACHA” are my kinds of contentment. I wish that every child in every zip code could be taught in paradise, as they deserve it. I wish I could change the world and fix inner city schools back home. If I could adopt them all and bring them here, believe me I would. I know that my personal experience stems from two extremes. Of course there are nice school in the suburbs of the states and I am working at the cream of the crop in Vietnam, but this is my story. I am humbled to call myself their teacher, as it is the students that truly deserve all of the admiration and pride.  I am watching them grow and become so creative. Creativity is so difficult for them, coming from a past of communism where everything used to be copy and paste. I have to probe monumental amounts of energy to have them come up with their own ideas. But, eventually when they create their own fable or mythical characters, the reward is indescribable.  Being a teacher is not easy. My vocal folds are fried and when I get home alive, I am purely exhausted.

I truly encourage everyone to teach abroad and experience this. There is nothing more heartening then people I met on my travels who reach back out to me for guidance in teaching in Ho Chi Minh. I will never tell you it is easy, because its not. But this experience is not comparable to anything you will ever get in a lifetime. Don’t wish it, DO IT!

NAMaste with me for any help you need along the way! 

4th grade girls

Well, I did it!!!

  The last time you heard from me, well things were holy awful. I wanted to pack my bags, fly home and call it quits. However, I did not. I chose to stay, persevere, and adapt. When all was lost and comforts did not exist in my life anymore, I was able to use one tool to feel at ease. That was myself. So far away, I still had my giggle, my ray of sunshine, and my ability to make the most special bonds with all walks of life. When I found that I still had me, I realized that distance and securities were not such a big deal anymore. I started to utilize all of my hardships as transformation periods and think positively when something went wrong. Having a full-length argument in Vietnamese about my bike being parked in the wrong spot has given me patience. Finding a place to live in a foreign country, by myself has given me independence. Walking into a new job with little experience as a classroom teacher, has given me confidence. And, most importantly ridding through the madness of Saigon on my motorbike has given me the badass status. I’m still finding it hard believe that this is my life. I’m rolling on such a high of limitless daily adventures, environmental change, food, and learning my surroundings, that it all still feels unreal.

I recently had two weeks off for winter holiday. Off the coast of Vietnam, closer to Cambodia, is a small island called, Phu Quoc! Not being planned (as most of my adventures go) this trip turned into the most blissful Christmas one could wish for. Vietnam is really big on Christmas. They do not celebrate it but the stores and streets are decked out in decorations, and can out do Macy's any day. The Christmas music was a constant reminder that I would be spending my first holiday, alone and away from home. With time off, I decided to jump on an airplane and try something new, despite the fact that I had a hundred dollars to my name at the time. With zero expectations, I walked into a beautiful black and red oriental styled hostel. The hostel, Q- Hao was complete with private rooms, a rooftop bar, a view of the sunset over the beach, and a whole house full of travel personalities. Yes, travel personalities. An adjective I like to use to describe natural adventurers. Everyone is a story here, everyone wants to know your story, and everyone wants to see, do, and feel this planet. God, the 360 energy and vibes are just palpable. I can still feel it. "What are you doing today?" "Going for a bike ride down the north side of the island, want to join?" "Yes!" And just like that, everyday. It doesn't matter who you are, because you are a traveler. You just fit in, and you know how to fit in, without even thinking about it.

After a massive boat party that we had in Vietnamese style pajamas, a friend and I decided to go swimming in the ocean at 1:00 in the morning. The next thing I know, I find myself swimming among a swarm of glowing plankton lighting up all around me, with my movements. I couldn't believe it, so magical, and unreal. I stopped for a moment, floating and looking up at the stars; I saw something that is so difficult to explain. It was almost like my dreams were up there, looking down at me, and saying, "Katie, you did it!" My body and my energy rushed through me, giving me a shock. In touch with nature, my dreams, and myself. I was purely in it, electrified with life. A feeling I will never forget!

Playing with different elements of life is not easy. Being a foreigner takes so much constant energy. Just opening my door with five different locks and latches and getting my bike out of the house in the morning is a whole production in itself. Being sick and having the whole neighborhood break inside your house because you aren't answering your door, while a little Vietnamese kid jumps on your bed, while you're charading "I'm throwing up" to them, and they still insist on checking your pluming, you can really lose it. But then, when the little coffee lady comes back and brings you soup, you realize these people truly mean well, and the world does have you. 

Finding strength during difficult moments can sometimes feel impossible. It is important to remember to take those complexities as your growing periods and strength building times. Having endless travel destinations, making friendships, exploring remote islands, and diving into a whole new world is what makes times like Phu Quoc so extra special. Embrace the bad, as the payoff the world will return back is extraordinary. Keep building those travel personalities to spread your light; if you ask me, it's the greatest gift in the world.

Keep NAMasting with me! I got this!!!

What the F did I just do?

What the fuck did I just do?

As you may know two weeks ago I made the big move BACK to Vietnam. Thinking everything was going to be great, the same as it was over the summer. Well no, it wasn’t and it hasn’t been. Jumping off of an airplane Sunday night and teaching Monday morning with a 12-hour jetlag, was for starters, not one of my best ideas.  I have been basically in a state of feeling “high” that came from a mix of jet lag, adapting to a completely new environment plus an intense full time teaching schedule.

These past two weeks have literally filled me with lows, shock, and purely terrifying days that felt like weeks.  My own self has never felt these feelings of being so alone and physically trapped 9,000 miles away from home and anything comfortable. I was sinking, trapped, nothing to hold onto except for my sheets in a hotel room. Culture shocked again by this intense city of motorbikes where everyday feels like your life is on the fast forward snap chat filter. My head spinning with regret, searching for the next flight home, ready to call it quits, pack up and go home. I am in a current phase which I have been calling the  “What the fuck did I just do?” phase. Sold everything I owned, in too much debt to go back now. I ask myself “how did I leave all of these people and loved ones in my life? How was I not more appreciative for everything I had?” I sit here scared to even listen to my music as I am afraid it will remind me too much of times where I felt happy and safe. I remember almost fainting signing a 15-month contract with this school, as returning the next day might not have been happening. I had to stop the HR director having me sign documents, as I was not comprehending a single thing she was saying. Mid sentence, I grabbed her arm and just vented. She told me “You are out here for a reason, you came back for a reason.” She was right, but I am not even exaggerating when I say shelter is my current level on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I have nowhere to stay tonight as my free week at my hotel has ended and I can’t afford to stay there another night. I went to check into a hostel for a little bit to save some money and when I walked into it after another exhausting day of teaching and apartment searching, the hostel literally looked like a prison-- and I just lost it. I called a cab and had them take me back to the Ruby River Hotel. Sadly, that hotel became my comfort zone, the closet thing to a home for me and I needed to go back despite the money. 

This isn’t a blast. I’m not out here playing with monkeys and elephants as everyone imagines. I’m jumping into a new job/lifestyle/ culture. Finding my friend zone, a place to live, getting my work permit, having someone take blood from me who cant speak English..  The little things kill you here. Having to figure out how to get Microsoft outlook and Google out of being in Vietnamese, playing the charade game for communication. Everything I do here takes an extra amount of brain cells.. Everything is just so hard. The language barrier becomes so frustrating, testing your ultimate means of patience. Riding around on bikes is always a life or death situation.

However,

I rather be out here problem solving, and using those extra brain cells then living in a routine any day. Things now are astronomically better. I have a great group of friends here from my summer camp, whom have all gone out of their way to be there for me! I also have been going to meet-ups with the female expats group, a group of girls who have all been through this as well. Today, I finally found a place to live so I am no longer homeless.  My 4^th and 5^th grade students are amazing and have been a pleasure to teach! I am getting over this hump and starting to finally settling in and re-becoming a part of the madness in Vietnam. I did come back for a reason. It’s because I was born to be a part of this chaotic city. I’m cut for this and I love being surrounded by people who are all intense and cut out for this too. Everyone is so special here because they have all chosen to take their chances to experience living in a foreign country. It’s impossible to meet anyone boring out here. It’s truly fabulous and I am blessed to have this opportunity despite the discomforts and adversities.

NAMaste with me again! 

Everyone is on their own Journey

How do you go from feeling SO alive to SO dead all within days? People try to compare what I am going through to returning from a vacation. What they don’t understand, is that I was not on a vacation. I was living in a different reality, a reality I made for myself on the other side of the world. A reality where my brain was constantly on because it was going through so much change every second of every day. Sure, my pictures look amazing on social media, with beautiful beaches, temples, and elephants; but who puts up pictures of working, the pitfalls, the challenges, the tears and the scared and lonely times? Vietnam was filled with both; significant greatness and significant adversities. It was that rollercoaster that I loved. I loved the feeling of being dirty from the pollution and sweat, having helmet hair, crossing the street being one single struggle of life or death, never having time to scroll through Facebook or Snapchat, waking up not knowing where I was, not being able to process everything that happened in just a single day, that when your body finally passes out from pure exhaustion you start jolting in your sleep because your body is finally having its first chance to catch up with your brain. THAT is feeling alive!  THAT IS VIETNAM!!!  Just one day filled with counter events happening around your 360 radius at all times, keeping you on, aware, and alert constantly. Routine never becomes a part of you as each day is always filled with new events every thirty seconds. I wasn’t on a vacation and my time abroad was not what is painted all over Instagram and Facebook, just as anyone’s life. Coming to Vietnam alone, and having no choice but to gain as much as possible out of my experience, living and succeeding here quickly turned into my reality. A reality that despite extreme challenges that a third world country throws at you, a reality that was mine, that made me feel SO alive all the time! I keep using this word, “reality” as I am trying to define what it really means to others. Since I have returned to the States I can not tell you how many people have said to me: “Katie, it’s time to get back to reality.”  I decided to look up “reality” in the dictionary to dig further into this word.

"Reality; noun. The world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them."

What do people really mean when they say this to me? My life in Vietnam was real, I wasn't making up some idealistic world and I sure as hell was not on a vacation. So, why does everyone keep telling me to get back to reality?

So, to answer your question; Yes! It is time for me to get back to reality. Vietnam is my reality and a state of actual existence. Last week, after nights and weeks of restless decision making, I decided to make the bold move and resign from my Speech Therapy job in Philadelphia, a place where I have worked for the past six years. I want my roller coaster ride of highs and lows and my brainwaves to be turned back on. Vietnam is a country filled of constant chaos just like me. I made exponential growth during my three- month journey in South East Asia, and there is still so much more opportunity out there for me to continue growing. I am not ready for that growth and progress to stop. I want more. I feel more Asia and I won't stop until I'm done. 

Everyone is on their own journey. There isn't one way to live or one way to do things. I have been criticized many times for my recent decision to resign from my job to work abroad. I've got "You're out of control," "You're running away from your problems," "How are you going to do this without any money?" and even, "you sound like you're on drugs, you should really see someone." To be fair, from another's perspective I probably do sound like I'm on drugs. I get high every time I talk about or think about Asia. I was high and ON everyday for three months and it never went away for a single moment. I was high off of life, culture, my everyday surroundings, the extreme highs and lows, the remarkable friendships and bonds that I made, and my passion for teaching and traveling. Teaching English abroad and traveling is the reality that I want for myself right now, in this moment. Routine is easy and since I've returned my brain has just been off. My daily routine of living and working, I can do all without thinking. I know exactly how to get myself to work, I know where I am going to put my things down when I enter my room, sign in, turn on my light, open my computer, the list can go on and on. I'm not thinking, I'm just physically going with the routine that my brain already knows how to do for me. 

I love change and I love a challenge. The Philadelphia School District was not an easy job initially. Working in a very urban environment, where my students faced so much neglect and instability was a very difficult task. This place made me strong and confident to have the ability to teach anywhere now. I will forever be grateful for that. However, my brain and body is ready for something new. My decision to leave has upset a lot of my family members. However, leaving for Vietnam is not a death sentence. It is just my new journey to lend the way for even more future opportunities. I can't say this enough; Everyone is on their own journey. This may not be the way one goes about finding change in life, but it is mine. There are so many secret doors in life to be opened, but it's up to you to find them by taking your chances. Words of advice: Do what you love, thrive from desire, and seize the day as you only get one life!

The reality is yours. Namaste with me my friends.